Sunday, September 15, 2013

Catching Up

It's been awhile since my last post, nine months to be exact. Trust me when I say it's not because I forgot I started blogging but I have been sicker in the last 9 months than I have been in my entire life.  I've come down with C-Diff twice. The first time it nearly killed me, landing me in the ICU for three days. Since then I've been battling with constant stomach pains, nausea, vomiting, and many many trips to the ER. I lost count how many times I've been hospitalized this year. All this has left me feeling very depressed and out of sorts. It's almost as if everyone around me has lost patience with me ending up in the hospital so often. No one hates it more than me. My veins are so bad that sometimes the only place to get an IV is in my neck. The las month or so has been a bit better with the vomiting but not without other problems. How do I learn to enjoy life this way and accept what I have? Maybe I'm a dreamer but I'm still looking for the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. I'd like for my closest friends and family to understand that I'm not alienating them, I'm just like my boyfriend to understand that I need him more than he realizes and I count on him to get me through the bad days.. That support is so crucial to me it's priceless. I just wish that he and everyone else around me understood.

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